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  • Writer's pictureMegan Kilmer

Negotiations: How to Come Out on TOP in your Real Estate Transaction

I had the pleasure of taking a MasterClass with former FBI Lead Hostage Negotiator Chris Voss this weekend and here are my take-aways and how I can use this to leverage your next move in real estate!

First and formost as Chis states "it's not about being the biggest jerk in the room!" I feel this in my bones. Have you allied with sales-y, puffy, hardball types of folks? It seems like we all put up defenses when we encounter this type of negotiation tactic and it's not good for anyone in the transaction space. The best way to get your needs met is by fostering a relationship built on trust and showing empathy. In regards to working with other real estate professionals, I am not just selling a house, I'm selling my clients! Stay with me here - if you are a first-time homebuyer or a seller that has a job offer on the East Coast you need someone to be your biggest advocate (me). Here is how we play it: Step 1 - Finding common ground. Determining the likes and interests of the other side of the transaction and focusing on common ground is a great way to give you an advantage in this transaction, without sharing too much! How is this done? Mirroring. Mirroring is using reflective language to repeat the words that were offered by the other party. This makes them feel heard, validated, and gives them an opportunity to elaborate while simultaneously building rapport. Example: me: "What attracted Tina and Rob to this area" them: "They grew up here" me: "Oh they grew up here...?" them: "Yes they grew up on the Westside and love the proximity to nature and they are pursuing more work life balance." me: "Oh work life balance...?" See what I did there? I just repeated back with curiosity and interest. Step 2 - Identifying common ground also known as Labeling. When the other party shares a common interest with you - I Label it! This gives us a common vocabulary to continue to discuss our shared interest in the clients and move forward with any transactional needs. How is it done? After initiating a conversation and utilizing mirroring we are able to draw out common interests in the example above we found out that the potential buyers: grew up here, love nature, and most likely work from home. Examples of how we can use Labeling to create a shared story. me: "Wow, it seems as though your clients really value quality of life. This is exactly what Jim and Sue are moving towards in selling their property - a higher quality of life. I'm sure your clients will keep that in mind when working on their offer." What just happened? - I Labeled a shared need for both the buyers and the sellers and created a landscape of mutual interests making the other side more invested in the quality of their offer to Jim and Sue, our sellers. Step 3 - Stop talking! I know, it sounds wild but here is where most of us lose control. The more that is shared the more the other party has to work with and we want to maintain the upper hand. How is it done? Now, as a transaction progresses there are inevitable communications that are needed, but in all short, concise answers are seen as the most productive and authoritative. Examples of how we can lose control of a conversation by over sharing: "Sorry to bug you, can you please sign that document by 5pm so that the seller can review before they log out of their work computer, their commute home is super long and they need to know that the transaction isn't going to fall through." Oops, now we have given a reason to doubt the integrity of the home because the seller has doubts - why would they think the transaction would fall through? What I do instead - "The document needs to be signed by 5pm today." That's it. What do you think of these negotiation strategies? Does using FBI negotiation techniques translate into the real estate space? If you are interested in learning more about what we have to offer for your real estate needs reach out! Megan Kilmer 831-888-7530 Realtor + Loan Officer + Problem Solver DRE02095192 | NMLS2436714


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